Are Soulmates Real, or Just a Romantic Idea?

 The idea of soulmates traces back to the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. He imagined that humans were not as we are today, two arms, two legs, one face—but once possessed four arms, four legs, and two heads. Each of these early humans was joined to their perfect counterpart, bound from joint to joint, wandering the earth as one. In Plato’s vision, love was the longing to return to that wholeness, to find the other half that completes us.

But then Zeus, the Greek god, chose to split humans in two, punishing them for their pride and arrogance. Each half was left to wander the Earth alone, carrying the longing for the missing piece of themselves. It was this eternal search for our other half that gave rise to the idea of soulmates. A desire to find the one who completes us. There is no single authority on the concept of soulmates, which blends folklore, science, and psychology. Yet compelling evidence suggests that, in some form, soulmates may indeed be real. Connections that transcend mere chance and hint at a deeper, meaningful bond between certain people.

Are Soulmates Real? Myth Versus Reality

Beyond Plato’s ancient musings, the idea of finding “the one” continues to shape our culture. From the Disney films many of us watch as children, we absorb the message that there is a perfect, all-fulfilling partner waiting for us. While believing that one person can meet every need can be limiting or even harmful, there is value in holding romantic ideals, like the concept of soulmates—that inspire hope, connection, and the pursuit of deep, meaningful relationships.

A 2016 study of 270 young adults found that those who held romantic beliefs were more likely to experience greater satisfaction and commitment in their relationships. Interestingly, these romantic ideals were not linked to unmet expectations, suggesting that believing in love or soulmates does not necessarily create impossibly high standards, but can instead foster deeper connection and dedication.

So, are soulmates real? The answer depends on whom you ask. Elena Bahar, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in sex, relationships, and intimacy, explains that the concept is ultimately subjective. Its reality varies according to personal beliefs, experiences, and perspectives. She elaborated on the nuances of the idea, noting that some people believe in a single, true soulmate for life, while others see the possibility of multiple soulmates over a lifetime. According to her, the essence of a lasting partnership lies in a delicate balance of compatibility, trust, and shared values.

Given the nuanced nature of soulmate beliefs, we turned to another relationship expert for perspective. Erick Nunez, a Los Angeles–based licensed clinical social worker, shared that he sees soulmates not as predestined, but as created: they emerge when two individuals willingly intertwine their lives, fully committed and without hesitation or unnecessary complications. Of course, this doesn’t imply that such relationships are without challenges. Rather, it reflects a profound willingness to navigate hardships together, finding a way forward through any obstacle, no matter the difficulty.

The One? Or More Than One?

I recently asked a close friend, who is happily partnered, whether she believes in soulmates. After a thoughtful pause, she shared that she feels she’s had multiple soulmates at different points in her life. She explained that our identities are never static, and as we grow and evolve, so too do the people we connect with most deeply. Nunez explains that he often views “the one” as someone for whom we are willing to compromise, hold ourselves accountable, and continually desire. By this reasoning, there may be many people over the course of a lifetime for whom we feel this way, as our ideals, needs, and values naturally evolve over time.

I believe soulmates are created when we encounter individuals willing to intertwine their lives with ours fully—without hesitation, without unnecessary complications, and with a shared commitment to building a life together. Bahar emphasized the importance of letting go of rigid definitions of what a soulmate should be, stressing the value of realistic expectations. She advises that, whether or not you believe in a single true soulmate, the key is to keep an open mind and an open heart while navigating the world of dating.

Are Soulmates Real? The Science Behind Our Mates

Part of the magic of human connection lies in our instinctive, primal attraction to another person. Surprisingly, science shows that body odor plays a role in this chemistry. Each person’s unique scent can influence relationship development by helping us subconsciously identify a healthy mate, regulate sexual desire, and enhance feelings of safety and comfort within a partnership. 

This suggests that our attraction isn’t purely random. Biological and chemical factors subtly guide us toward individuals who may be compatible, shaping potential soulmate connections in ways science can begin to explain.

A Different Type of Love

I brought the idea of soulmates to my closest friend. After a brief pause to reflect, she smiled and said, “Well, you’re my soulmate.” I was taken aback, realizing my understanding of the concept had been one-dimensional until that moment. Her words felt undeniably true—we met, and something clicked instantly. Over the years, we’ve navigated conflicts with care, shared living spaces, traveled together, and supported each other through triumphs and setbacks. With more than a decade of deep friendship behind us, I have no doubt our bond is enduring. Her statement highlighted a truth often overshadowed by romantic notions: soulmates can exist platonically, as connections rooted in loyalty, understanding, and unwavering companionship.

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Bahar explains that a platonic soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep, meaningful connection that is neither romantic nor sexual. She adds that these bonds can be just as impactful and enduring as romantic soulmates. Intrigued by the science behind this platonic chemistry, I turned to the research. A 2022 study published in Science Advances found that we can subconsciously detect friends from foes through scent. Friends tend to smell more alike than strangers, and we are more likely to engage positively with those whose scent resembles our own. Once again, what often feels like a fated connection may actually be guided by biological cues—our attraction, even in friendship, is subtly shaped by the world around us.

For Those Who Question Soulmates

Perhaps you remain unconvinced that soulmates exist, or maybe you are in a loving relationship yet don’t feel as though your partner is “the one.” Neither of these realities should prevent you from experiencing lasting love.

In her work as a psychotherapist, Bahar emphasizes that it is possible to embrace both the ideal of deep, passionate romance and the ambivalence that naturally arises in relationships, shaped by our personal histories of feeling secure or insecure in close bonds. These feelings can coexist, even if they complicate the search for a singular “one.”

She encourages letting go of rigid definitions and leaning fully into your current relationship as a path to peace. Bahar notes that the idea of a soulmate should not hold anyone back from true happiness, and she advises focusing on nurturing a strong, enduring connection with the person you are with now, rather than waiting for a mythical perfect match to appear.

Are Soulmates Real? What We Won’t Do For Love

We swipe through dating apps, take chances with strangers on reality television, or summon courage to speak to someone in line at the grocery store. Our culture thrives on hopeless romanticism, daring us to believe that somewhere out there, our other half is waiting to cross paths with us.

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You shouldn’t let the concept of a “soulmate” keep you from experiencing genuine happiness in your relationships. The reality of relationships is more complex, especially as marriage rates decline and people choose to marry later in life. Since 1950, the proportion of unmarried adults has risen by 11%, and single-person households have increased by 16% since 1960.

Younger generations are breaking from the patterns of their elders, confidently leaving relationships that no longer serve them. These statistics may reflect a growing awareness that staying in an unfulfilling relationship isn’t inevitable. It also suggests that a failed partnership might simply signal that the right person has yet to enter their life.