There are many reasons a single face keeps appearing night after night in your dreams. And no—it’s not always because you’ve been binge-watching too many episodes of The White Lotus (though that could be part of it).
1. Unresolved Feelings
Let’s cut to the chase: you’re dreaming about this person because there are still feelings lingering beneath the surface.
Picture it: you’re at a fancy restaurant with your ex, ready to enjoy a quiet dinner, when instead of the lobster risotto you ordered, the waiter sets down a plate piled high with unprocessed emotions, garnished with a sprig of shame.
It sounds absurd, but science backs it up. A 2023 study in the International Journal of Dream Research found that recurring dreams often act as the subconscious’s way of processing complex emotions or situations we haven’t fully resolved in waking life.
Research also suggests that unresolved feelings are especially common when the dreamer was the one who initiated the breakup. There’s something about this particular relationship—or the way it ended—that your mind hasn’t fully digested. Maybe there’s still love lingering, or perhaps a tangible reminder remains, like a scarf tucked in a drawer.
Whatever the cause, your brain keeps casting them in the recurring role of your dreams, circling the carousel of emotional baggage until it finds a way to let go.
2. They’re a symbol of a trait or situation
Sometimes, the person in your dream isn’t really them at all—they’re a stand-in for something your mind is trying to process.
Perhaps you’re navigating a new chapter in life, or facing an event that stirs excitement or anxiety. Your brain borrows faces to represent ideas, traits, or feelings that are hard to confront directly.
For example, dreaming about Lizzo night after night probably doesn’t mean you’re destined to be best friends (though wouldn’t that be something?). Instead, she could symbolize qualities you admire or wish to embrace—confidence, body positivity, or the fearless joy of belting out a flute solo while dancing. In this way, the recurring figure in your dreams reflects something unfolding within you, a hint of the personal growth or challenge that your subconscious is exploring.
3. You’re feeling stress and anxiety
Stress has a funny way of sneaking into every corner of life—like putting your AirPods in the dishwasher, or dreaming about your fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Applebaum, and her unforgettable mole. When pressure mounts, your brain sometimes summons familiar faces as a way to process the tension.
Research from Walden University shows that non-nightmare recurring dreams (NNRD) often tie to past trauma and emotional processing. Anxiety and a history of difficult experiences can make these dreams more likely, revealing the subconscious echoes of struggles that haven’t fully settled.
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So if you find yourself dreaming about your boss the night before a major presentation, your mind isn’t playing a cruel joke—it’s running an intense, sleepless dress rehearsal. The recurring faces are less about the people themselves and more about the stress your mind is trying to work through.
4. Your subconscious is fulfilling wishes
Sometimes, seeing someone over and over in your dreams is your brain’s way of granting a little nocturnal wish—like a genie tucked inside REM sleep. Dreaming of being best friends with Jennifer Lawrence? Maybe your mind is craving the kind of easy, down-to-earth companionship she represents.
Sigmund Freud famously proposed that dreams serve as wish fulfillment. Modern psychology has refined some of his wilder ideas (yes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), but the core notion—that dreams reveal our desires—still resonates.
If a particular person keeps appearing in your nightly stories, it might be your subconscious nudging you toward recognition of feelings you haven’t yet acknowledged. And that recurring fantasy of winning The Great British Bake Off? It may have less to do with your baking prowess and more to do with a longing for accomplishment, validation, or simply being seen.
5. You’re processing daily events
Think of your brain as a 24/7 news channel, endlessly replaying the day’s highlights and lowlights. Keep seeing your chatty coworker in your dreams? Chances are it’s because she fills your waking hours too—two-hour Zoom marathons where she gushes about her sourdough starter, Brad Pitt.
Dr. Deirdre Barrett, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, explains that dreams are simply our thinking processes continuing through a different, biochemical medium. They take the concerns, encounters, and routines of your day and recast them in symbolic, often exaggerated, form.
Recurring dreams are like a “Previously on…” segment, giving your mind a nightly recap before moving forward. So after a six-day Survivor binge, don’t be surprised if you find yourself trekking through the jungle with Jeff Probst, hunting for immunity idols while your subconscious edits the scenes for maximum drama.
READ ALSO: When Did Every Ex Become a Narcissist? The Rise of a Word We Once Rarely Spoke
How To Stop Dreaming About Someone
Sometimes, when a person won’t leave your thoughts, they find their way into the quiet corners of your sleep, slipping into your dreams uninvited. The harder you try to push them from your mind, the more stubbornly they linger—because dreams don’t listen to willpower.
Instead, it helps to gently redirect your thoughts before sleep: lose yourself in a book, breathe through a moment of meditation, let your mind soften and settle. And if even that doesn’t chase them away, it may be a sign that something deeper needs tending—a feeling, a memory, or a chapter of your relationship that still needs to be understood. Only by facing it can you finally loosen their hold on your dreams, and let your nights belong to you again.
1. Refocus Your Thoughts Before Sleeping
Keep yourself moving through the day.
Fill the hours between sunrise and sleep with small victories—hit the gym, clear the errands that have been gathering dust, straighten up the house when you return home. Scientists say dreams are shaped from the raw material of our waking lives, the mind stitching together the pieces of what we see and do. The busier you are, the more new sights and stories your subconscious has to work with.
Activity softens the grip of old thoughts; it invites fresh images, new scenes, different themes into your dreams.
But remember: you can’t outrun your mind. If your days begin to feel heavy, if you’re stretched thin trying to balance it all, it may be a sign you’re pushing too hard. Staying engaged is helpful—overloading yourself is not. Balance, not exhaustion, is what brings peace to both day and night.
Lose yourself in a book before you drift toward sleep.
Pick a story you can sink into for at least half an hour, something that pulls your attention away from the thoughts that tend to follow you from daylight into dreams. Reading offers your mind a quiet detour—it fills the space where worry or longing might otherwise settle, giving your imagination something gentler to hold onto than the person who keeps showing up uninvited in your sleep.
There’s a bonus, too: sinking into a good book often lulls you toward rest, easing the edges of insomnia or nighttime restlessness.
And unlike the glow of a TV or the pull of a phone screen, a book won’t flood your eyes with blue light or trick your brain into staying awake. Instead, it invites stillness—letting your mind unwind, soften, and finally slip into sleep on its own terms.
Meditate for a few quiet minutes to find your calm.
Settle into a comfortable seat on the floor, close your eyes, and let your body release its tension. Breathe slowly and deeply—inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth—letting your awareness follow the gentle rhythm of your breath and the subtle weight of your body against the floor. With each inhale and exhale, the clutter of unnecessary thoughts begins to dissolve.
When your mind drifts toward the person who lingers in your dreams, guide it softly back to your breath, to the present moment, to the simple awareness of being here.
This practice, known as mindfulness meditation, helps quiet overthinking—the kind that often fuels restless nights and unsettling dreams. Through it, you cultivate a space of calm where sleep can arrive gently, unburdened by lingering worries.
Let sound guide your dreams.
As you drift toward sleep, surround yourself with soft, soothing sounds—a gentle melody, the rush of a flowing stream, the distant rumble of a thunderstorm. White noise machines can work just as well, creating a calm cocoon for your mind. These gentle audio cues may help steer your dreams toward more pleasant landscapes, away from the faces you’re trying to leave behind.
Keep the volume balanced: loud enough to hear, but soft enough to stay comfortably in slumber. Unsure what to try? Explore ASMR—delicate tapping, whispering, or soft scratching designed to ease tension and invite deep, peaceful sleep. Many free recordings are available online, waiting to carry you into rest.
Be mindful of associations. Avoid music, sounds, or recordings that might summon memories of the person you’re trying to forget—their favorite song, or the ambient sounds of a shared trip. Instead, let your ears cradle you in new, soothing worlds, giving your mind the freedom to dream in gentle, unburdened ways.
Focus on someone who warms your heart.
When memories of someone else keep slipping into your mind, gently redirect your thoughts toward a person you share a deep connection with—a partner, a friend, a family member. Recall the moments that made you smile, or the qualities in them that you cherish most. Let their presence fill your mind, softly pushing out the lingering echoes of the other.
This practice isn’t just for bedtime; anytime unwanted thoughts arise, turning to someone dear can soothe your mind and restore calm.
Visualization like this also strengthens the bonds you already have, deepening your appreciation for the people who matter most, and reminding you of the warmth and importance they bring to your life.
2. Confronting the Source of Recurring Dreams
Face unresolved feelings with gentle honesty.
If the person who haunts your dreams has caused pain or abandonment, their shadow may linger in your sleep because it lingers in your heart. To release them from your nights, it’s necessary to make peace with the memories they left behind. Accept the experiences you shared as part of your story, and offer forgiveness—not for them, but for your own peace.
Dreams of a romantic or sexual nature can signal unfulfilled needs in your current relationships. Acknowledging and addressing these feelings may quiet their presence in your subconscious.
And remember: dreaming of a lost loved one is neither strange nor unhealthy. It is part of the heart’s natural process of mourning. Over time, as healing unfolds, these dreams will soften, appearing less often, until your nights are free once again.
Address your feelings directly, if it feels safe.
Sometimes the most powerful way to release someone from your dreams is to confront the lingering tension in real life. If you feel ready, consider speaking with the person face-to-face, sharing honestly how their actions affected you. A heartfelt conversation can offer closure, helping you finally set them aside and reclaim your peace.
If meeting in person isn’t possible, a phone call can still provide that space to be heard and to express yourself. Hearing your own words spoken aloud—and receiving a response—can ease the weight you carry after a difficult breakup or an unhealthy relationship.
And if communication isn’t an option at all, try writing a letter. Pour everything onto the page: the frustrations, the grief, the unspoken words. Even if the letter never reaches its recipient, simply releasing your emotions onto paper can bring profound relief, allowing your mind to rest and your dreams to breathe free of their shadow.
Observe and interpret your dreams with curiosity.
Instead of drifting passively through your nightly visions, step back and become a quiet witness. Remind yourself that you are dreaming, and watch the scenes unfold without letting emotion take control. When morning comes, reflect on what you saw. Consider what your dream might be trying to tell you, and allow yourself to accept whatever insight emerges.
To deepen this awareness, you might explore lucid dreaming or similar practices, giving yourself a greater sense of engagement and control.
If mere observation isn’t enough, take action within your dreams—mentally tell the person you no longer wish to see them, or imagine walking away, closing a door, or leaving them behind.
Dreams can be like tangled knots: sometimes, all it takes is finding the right thread to pull. Once you do, the tension that has kept you bound can unravel, leaving your mind freer and your sleep lighter.
Seek guidance from a psychologist if the dreams linger.
When dreams begin to intrude upon your peace, leaving you restless or unsettled, it’s natural to feel powerless. A skilled counselor can help you navigate these difficult emotions, offering exercises and strategies to shift the way you think—and, in turn, the way you dream.
Consider finding a therapist who specializes in dream analysis or exploring the unconscious mind. With their guidance, you can uncover the hidden threads woven through your nights and learn to transform restless dreams into opportunities for understanding, growth, and calm.
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