Why It Is So Hard to Take Advice

 Advice does not always come from experts or close friends. Very often, it comes from unexpected and ordinary people. The problem is not the advice itself. The problem is our willingness to hear it. 

In July 2011, Wade LeBlanc was struggling. He was a pitcher for the San Diego Padres, and his career was slipping away. That morning, he climbed into a taxi outside Petco Park and asked to be taken to the airport. He was headed to Tucson after being sent down to the minor leagues once again. It was the eighth demotion of his career in just three years.

The taxi driver recognized him. He told LeBlanc that he had talent, even after a terrible performance the night before. Then, carefully, the driver offered a suggestion. He said LeBlanc might consider lifting his hands over his head during his wind-up.

At another time, LeBlanc might have ignored the comment. He might have felt insulted or annoyed. But this time was different. His career was at risk, and he could not afford to dismiss any idea. He listened.

The following day, LeBlanc discussed the suggestion with his pitching coach. He adjusted his wind-up by briefly raising his hands over his head. When he used the new motion in his next game, the results were immediate. He pitched seven strong innings and allowed only one hit. That small change marked a turning point. Years later, he was still pitching in the major leagues and signed the first contract extension of his career at the age of thirty-three.

This story reveals a common mistake people make with advice. We tend to value guidance from credentialed experts while overlooking ideas from ordinary individuals. Status heavily influences whose voice we trust.

One reason for this is optimism bias. People naturally believe that things will turn out well, especially when advice comes from an expert. Research shows that expert advice often creates confidence without guaranteeing accuracy. Even when experts are wrong, people are more likely to follow them.

Power also affects how we receive advice. Studies show that people in positions of authority ignore more advice than those with less power. As success increases, the number of people we listen to often decreases. This makes accepting advice from unexpected sources require genuine humility.

A similar lesson appeared in the career of filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan. After early success, his later films received harsh criticism. One critic compared The Village to a children’s cartoon. Instead of dismissing the comment, Shyamalan reflected on it.

He realized that his films relied on gradual increases in intensity. In The Village, that progression failed. Rather than defending himself, he accepted the criticism and adjusted his approach. His next film, Split, was risky and self-financed. It became a massive commercial success and restored his reputation.

Most people struggle to accept advice because of egocentric bias. We naturally trust our own judgement more than that of others. It is easier to believe critics misunderstand us than to admit they may be right.

Taking advice requires humility. It demands that we lower our defenses instead of raising them. As the Korean Zen monk Haemin Sunim suggests, those who challenge us may be offering valuable lessons. When we listen with openness, even uncomfortable advice can become a turning point.